Zippy's Tips For Winter Storage - How-To

Another mistake guys make is how they store their bike's battery. way too many of you like to keep the terminals clean, the electrolyte topped off and the battery charged. The Zip says don't do it. A battery needs rest just the way people do. That's why it's good to let it relax over the winter without disturbing it. So don't charge it, don't clean that powdery stuff off the terminals-that's what prevents the electricity from leaking out the top-and don't add water. The less water, the less damage there'll be to the paint and chrome when the battery freezes and cracks and everything leaks out.

[*As batteries sit they lose voltage in a process known as "self-discharge" (please show just a little maturity here and pretend you didn't think of at least a dozen jokes). The voltage drop is made worse when the electrolyte is low-a situation that also allows the plates to decay-or when the terminals are all nasty with corrosion. But that's hardly the worst of your problems. As the battery dies a slow and painful death the electrolyte's specific gravity drops from a fully charged reading of 1.27 to about 1.05 when it's dead as the proverbial doornail. when a hydrometer reads 1.05 what you've essentially got is acid- flavored water, with a freezing point that hovers around +27 degrees F. It's only a matter of time before the battery cracks and spews acid all over your bike. -MZ]

Changing the oil before stashing your bike is another bad idea. Used oil has all sorts of neat stuff in it. There are tiny particles of grit, water and acid all floating around looking for mischief. Normally the junk just hangs out not having a whole lot of fun. But when you park the bike-especially when the oil is nice and dirty-those particles drop out and form little communities of dirt and sludge in there, like little crappy neighborhoods, and when the crud drops out it rejuvenates the oil. So basically if you let an engine sit with dirty oil in it, the oil cleans itself. Besides, when the engine is restarted it'll get swept up again anyway, so why worry about it? Maybe you'll end up with an etched bearing or cam surface or a little pocket of sludge someplace, but chances are there won't be a whole lot of damage-at least none that can't be fixed by a good mechanic and a small bank loan. Also, who wants to waste good money on oil when you're not even going to be riding for a few months?

[Now you know why we call Zippy "the pinhead." -MZ]

In fact, that whole fluid-inspection thing is vastly overrated. Sure, antifreeze goes bad, but if the stuff in your bike has been working for three years why would it go bad now? Besides, checking it is a real hassle. you've got to take the cap off the tank, stick a hydrometer in there and figure out what the numbers mean. who needs that when Real Sex is on HBO and there's a cold six-pack in the fridge! Hell, if the stuff is still green let it go-what's the worst that could happen if it does freeze? It's not like the block will crack or anything. will it?.

It's kind of like that brake-fluid change thing everyone's always harping on. So what if the fluid gets water in it-water's cheaper than brake fluid, right? And the brakes will still work, maybe not as well as they did when the fluid was new, but how hard do you use them anyway? As for rust damage in the master cylinder and calipers, well, that's why they make rebuild kits. I say run the stuff until the brakes puke and then rebuild them.

This whole "service it before you put it away for the winter" thing is out of control. Jeez, some of these guys even put duct tape or steel wool into the pipes and air inlet to keep mice and rats from getting in. Really, how many times have you heard of a mouse getting in somewhere it doesn't belong? And even if they do build a nest in your air cleaner, sheesh, have a little compassion for our rodent friends!

Here's my take on it: The bike is only going to be laid up for, what, three or four months? Just park the thing and if it doesn't start or run in the spring, call the local shop to pick it up and straighten everything out. Heck, most of the dealers in my neck of the woods only take a month or two and charge maybe five or six hundred bucks-a grand, tops-to get a bike running. The primo riding weather doesn't get here until July anyway. Ride the thing until it stops, and then fix what you can to get 'r going again. That's what I do, and my bike usually runs on both cylinders-at least half the time I ride it. Of course if you listen to my smartass cousin he'll tell you it should run good all the time, but he's one of those guys who actually believes what it says in the shop manual about routine maintenance being a cornerstone of reliability.