The second duel of late was a similar situation in that it involved a winding canyon road at night, a drunk and a pickup truck. But this time I didn't know the road. And, I didn't instigate the situation by honking. But I did pass the guy, pretty casually I thought, and he didn't like it. Duel again. This guy is swerving all over the place though-I watch him trying to catch me in my mirrors and his truck is all over the road. At one point he loses it and spins onto the shoulder. Relieved, I slow, because I'm overriding. It's dark and I've never been on this road before. But there he is again, just totally out of control and literally barreling toward me. Solution: Retreat. I see a paved turnoff I know I can handle at fairly high speed, wait till he's right on me and exit the roadway using the light weight and superior brakes of my vehicle to make a move his ratty old pickup could never perform. I turned it around and rode at a good clip the other way, back into town for a little adrenaline-cleansing break.
The third duel was in the Colorado Rockies a few months back. It was another situation I instigated, I'm sure, by wanting to pass-but it was a mini-van for crying out loud- and broad daylight! We were going through a succession of stop signs, and at each, this van would wait...for like a minute. So at one sign I came up beside her-oops, him-stopped, and then proceeded to sneak around the van. The honk was deafening, and caused me to flip the guy off. Oops number two. I didn't know he'd just just been kicked off the Little League field. And so we began a slow-motion duel into the quiet little town of Crested Butte, which is, I found out, a dead-end.
He dogged me up and down through the town, yelling out the window, "Pull over you m'effer! I'm gonna kick your sorry ass!" And on and on. The guy was inches from my bike that whole time and I was just bracing for a knock-down. I knew he didn't know I was a chick by the kinds of things he was shouting. On the road, hardly anyone knows I'm a girl, since I wear a full-faced helmet with a baggy Aerostich suit and always tuck my braid in when I travel on a bike. But in this situation I knew the fact might actually aid me. So on my second loop through town I pulled into a busy parking lot, let him come up beside me, and pulled off my helmet. Solution: I'm a girl. This totally confuses him and he drives off without saying a word.
Yeah, yeah, I know that one won't work for most of you. But confrontation is the only other option, and you can usually always find a way to defuse the situation if you aren't too proud or angry. Those are the only three options: run, retreat or confront. Just remember if you choose the latter, that the other person is probably even crazier than you are.
Sooner or later, whether it's our doing or not, we all find ourselves in Dennis Weaver's seat.Duel wisely.
Tell us your dueling tactics at Jamie.elvidge@primedia.com